I am not going to lie to you, but “LIFE HAS BEEN LIFEING!!!” Since my first post I shared here a lot has changed, but one thing remains the same…
When I’ve had enough I let go & MOVE ON!
For the last year and a couple of months, I’ve settled… Professionally and Personally! I knew that I had to come back into the media industry, but I thought it would be different this time.
I walked away from the healthcare industry. Pivot!
I walked away from the modeling industry. Retired!
I walked away from my marriage. Divorce!
I walked away from the sports industry. (Well kind of)
Yet for some reason I was afraid to walk away from this. Many of you know my story and how I returned back to The Atlanta Voice. It was a decision I made while grieving the loss of a good friend and work partner, but most of all I wanted to continue what he envisioned while creating change I sought after when I first started at AV back in 2017. I wanted to see something different amongst black publications that I haven’t seen and I was given the opportunity to do a lot.
Most of my life I’ve had to face men who were confused by my beauty & knowledge, and they were equally intimidated by that as well. It’s confusing and I don’t want to spend my time talking about them, but what I will say is my spirit is hurt. In an industry where so many young people look up to those of us with decades of experience, (remember I started writing & copy editing at 12 years old), it’s been heartbreaking to witness what I’ve seen happen all because adults don’t know how to properly communicate & resolve conflict. I will not go into detail about those situations but just know that it has upset me so bad that it was my final straw to walk away.
I am not about to watch how others are treated & act like everything is okay. I spoke up about some concerns where I felt like I would have support in my claims that would possibly result in some form of change throughout the organization. That did not happen. I was ignored, attacked and felt completely helpless. So if a woman who’s a C-suite executive in a media company cannot be heard then who else would be ignored? Maybe I should’ve been louder… but if you know me then you know I was loud as hell and tried to resolve this as best as I could. It’s only so much you can do before you reach your breaking point and realize that none of this is worth it.
It’s not worth my sanity.
It’s not worth the tears I’ve cried in disappointment and sadness.
It’s not worth my energy.
So here I am writing to myself with all to see how once again I am letting go and moving on. No I don’t know what’s next, but I pray that wherever I land that the next work environment is supportive when I speak up about concerns or I will leave immediately. My time here was served and I know that I left AV even better than I did when I left back in 2018. Trusting my gut & my health on this decision. On to the next one…
Note: This was written two days after I turned in my immediate resignation. June 25th was the day I walked away and I am just now sharing this. I’m so thankful for this healing process & I embrace change. You should try it too!